Music: Miles Davis “Bitches Brew”

            Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson “Ain’t That A Bitch”

           (I really do listen to the above music while I work)

Beverage: Bitch (an Australian Grenache)

            (I really do drink the above drink while I work)

 I guess I’m in a real Bitchy mood tonight, but don’t worry, this won’t be my typical Bitch session. The word Bitch was recently elevated to the national stage thanks to New York Knick’s Head Coach, Isiah Thomas. And unlike the term ‘nappy-headed ho’s, the word Bitch doesn’t come with a pink slip. Is this because the word Bitch is no stranger to the American vernacular? Could be. Let’s be real, the word Bitch is like many other words in the American vernacular, i.e., it’s all about context. Let’s check out some more Bitches, shall we.

DEF: Bitch (bich) 1) a female dog or fox, 2) a woman regarded as bad-tempered or malicious, 3) [Slang] anything especially difficult 4) [Slang] to complain.

           What’ll ya’ll think of that? The actual definition is a Bitch isn’t it. It’s all about context folks, it’s all about context. The truth is the word carries more sting when a man uses the word towards a woman, so therefore, women sub-consciously apply the same standard to the B-Word, that many Black Folks apply to the N-Word. Meaning, it doesn’t carry the same sting when we use it amongst each other. That said, Isiah Thomas’s take on the word melded the sexes and the races in a way that boggles the mind, even if slightly true. During a videotaped deposition for a sexual harassment lawsuit, against himself, Isiah was asked: “Mr. Thomas, you stated earlier that you found it offensive for a White Man to call a Black Woman a Bitch, would you also find it offensive for a Black Man to call a Black Woman a Bitch?” Mr. Thomas replied: “Not as much, I’m sorry to say; I do make a distinction.” Now what makes Thomas’s comment so mind-boggling is the fact that he’s a top executive in a multi-million dollar corporation and he didn’t have the common sense to say: “I don’t think it’s proper for any man of any race to call any woman a Bitch, especially in the workplace.”  I’m sure his bosses would’ve appreciated my hypothetical response because it probably would’ve saved them 11.6 Million dollars. The slight truth resides in the fact that no group of people likes to be denigrated by people outside of their group, and from what I’ve seen, women use the word towards each other more than men use the word towards women (pimps don’t count, even though it’s the workplace) . Women seem to be more tolerant of the word when it comes from the mouth of another woman (I’m certainly not saying women won’t come to blows over the word). If a woman calls another woman a Bitch to her face, the woman on the receiving end usually replies: “Fuck You, you’re the Bitch!” But if a man calls a woman a Bitch it carries more sting, regardless of her initial response, her real concern is the underlying cause for the comment (and more concern = more sting). When a woman calls a woman a Bitch, the woman on the receiving end automatically thinks: “That Bitch is just jealous!” When a man calls a woman a Bitch, the woman wonders ‘Why,’ and then wonders who he received the faulty information from.

            My own personal Code of Conduct for the word Bitch is to use it only towards men. Examples: Take our current President and Vice President; both of whom hid when they had their opportunity to serve our country during a time of need. Our current President hid in the Air National Guard, and our current Vice President obtained FIVE DEFERMENTS to avoid service in Vietnam. Vice President Cheney would later state that he had “Other Priorities,”  but look at their priorities right now. To hide in the National Guard, and then send National Guardsmen off to die, is a Bitch-move, period. To act like you’re fucking HARD, and to send men to war without adequate armor, after receiving FIVE DEFERMENTS, is Bitch-move. And the “Bitch of the Year” in my opinion is Rush Limbaugh. Anyone who got out of serving their country because they had a cyst on their ass, but chooses to refer to veterans who oppose the Iraq War as ‘phony soldiers,’ is a Bitch, period. So actually, I think the word is more fitting when it’s directed towards a certain type of male. I know I’m not the only man on this planet who feels the word Bitch is NOT exclusive to one gender, but is the word Bitch exclusive to one race  (i.e., Black Folks)? Nope!

        I repeat, the word Bitch is not exclusively Black. Black Folks may have monopolized ‘Motherfucker’ (I plead Guilty on that one), but Bitch is mainstream, and crosses all racial, social, and economic  boundaries. Obviously present-day hip hop performers use the word with reckless abandon, but the word Bitch put Meredith Brooks on the map, and she ain’t had a hit since her hit song “Bitch.” Hall & Oates used the word Bitch routinely in their song hit “Rich Girl” nearly 30 years before the hip hop group OUTKAST routinely used the word Bitch in their hit song “Roses.” Hip Hop performers are currently saddled with constant charges of “excessive-use-of-Bitch” (all charges are indeed valid), but the word Bitch has been used at the highest levels of our society for years.

          The former first lady Barbara Bush called 1984 Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Geraldine Ferraro a Bitch (I’m sorry, Barbara stated that due to television restrictions, all she could say is that Geraldine rhymes with the word ‘rich’).

        Actress Joan Collins resurrected her acting career by playing a Bitch on the hit nighttime soap ‘Dynasty,’ and to this day, she relishes being known as a Bitch.

         ‘The View’ co-host Joy Bahar, relishes the opportunity to call thin women “skinny Bitch,” and the word Bitch is freely used on many other primetime television shows (cable and network).

                   When you have a word with multiple definitions, that just happens to transcend all boundaries, it obviously becomes a matter of context. I’m quite sure Isiah Thomas’s inference that the word Bitch has racial boundaries doesn’t fly with most women. Black Folks may drop the N-Word freely amongst each other without any real repercussions, but women on the receiving end of the B Word don’t care what color the offender is. Women on the receiving end of the B Word may even be more offended if it comes from someone of their own race (regardless what distinction Isiah may make). Even though the word Bitch has taken on a new life in the Black community (thanks to hip hop), it’s still primarily a sexist term that transcends any imaginary boundaries. The word Bitch will always be used to denigrate women (i.e., Isiah Thomas’s preferred context) or emasculate men (i.e., my preferred context), and unfortunately, those two popular usages of the word Bitch will always overshadow the most harmful usage of the word. The bottom line is still context, Isiah’s preferred context is not the most harmful usage of the word, and my preferred context is not the most harmful usage of the word; America’s accepted context is by far the most harmful usage of the word. In America, assertive men in the workplace are considered an asset, and assertive women in the workplace are considered Bitches, and that’s the only context that truly matter$. America’s accepted context, that assertive women in the workplace are Bitches, creates real boundaries for women, and this context is not imagined. Until that context is corrected, life for all of us will always be a Bitch!

Always remember my Humper & Humperettes: “Life is too short to Hate.”